President Saperstein? What do you think?!


Even if it is not realistic at all, it is still nice to fantasize about “What If.” We are constantly bombarded with images of leaders who believe they should and could be the next President of the United States. Come this November, either Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump will be the most powerful person in the entire world. How many of us have thought about what they would do with that type of power. What would we change even if we had just one month to complete everything on our agenda? In the 1990s, a movie with Kevin Kline was released called, “Dave” when an ordinary man takes over the presidency in a conspiracy hidden from the American public. Because the real president had a stroke, a dead-ringer takes his place. The man does some great things because he is a regular person with priorities many of us have.

If I became president for just one month, the first thing I would do is make all supermarkets and businesses responsible for providing reusable bags to customers to decrease the waste of plastic. All states would become like California in the sense that customers will have to pay extra money for using wasteful plastic bags and cashiers would be required by law to ask, “Do you want a plastic bag for your items?” instead of automatically shoving groceries in there without our consent.

Stricter laws would protect vulnerable people from the exploitation of ill-reputable individuals who intend them malice. The penalties would be at least two times more severe if someone criminally takes advantage of someone with a physical and/or mental disability. Crimes and exploitation would decrease like Eric Robert’s film career in the sense that people would cave into their cowardly instincts and avoid victimizing anybody due to their fear that they would violate this law by inadvertently targeting someone with a disability.

I would also like to create many more programs like the College Experience Program (CEP) so just about everybody has the chance to attend college even if they do not have the intellectual abilities that would normally allow someone to thrive in such an environment. Scholastic options beyond high school should be available for anyone who had the drive to succeed.

Outsourcing is the process of shipping American jobs overseas so companies can save a few positions. Back in 2004 and 2007, I had a position at an IBM manufacturing facility that worked well for me because it involved repetitive tasks and predictability. The money also made it possible for me to pay off all my bills and even put away at least eight thousand dollars in the bank. Positions like this are now harder to come by due to the changing business climate. Companies will be pushed very hard to keep all of their positions in this country, and I will build chocolate factories as well as the ultimate Widget assembly lines. I am not saying these positions are right for everybody, but for those who want them they will be available three times over.

“All work and no play make Jack a dull boy.” A president must use their power for the good of the nation and occasionally to have a little fun themselves. In my free time, I would make phone calls to Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen to explain they would be nothing without Full House and they owe it to the American people to make one measly, little cameo on the reboot, “Fuller House” and play Michelle once again. I would also ensure that the campy and delightfully-tacky Doo Wop Motels of Wildwood Crest, NJ receive protection as historic landmarks and make it a federal offense to drop cigarette butts like it is not even a big deal!

Featured Posts
Recent Posts
Search By Tags
Follow Us
  • Facebook Classic
  • Twitter Classic
  • Google Classic